Dating Your Ideal Client – Why WHO Comes Before WHAT
Ever tried dating with a blindfold on?
No? Good—because that’s what most businesses do when they try to help “everyone.”
You wouldn’t propose marriage to a total stranger over Zoom (unless you’re REALLY into surprises).
But in business, that’s exactly what happens when you don’t know who you want to help.
Let’s be honest—would you ever walk into a bar, stand on a chair, and shout, “I’ll date anyone!”?
Of course not! (Unless you want an awkward night and a story your friends will never let you forget.)
Dating is about finding the right match. You want someone who gets your jokes, shares your values, and maybe even laughs at your dad-dancing.
Business is the same. If you don’t know WHO you want to help, you’re basically speed-dating with a blindfold. Spoiler alert: that rarely leads to happily-ever-after.
Here’s the kicker:
If you don’t know who you want to help, you won’t know what to offer them.
It’s like showing up to a vegan’s house with a steak dinner. Or bringing a karaoke machine to someone who hates singing. (Trust me, I’ve tried. It’s not pretty.)
And here’s where your brain comes in:
Our brains are wired to pay attention to things that feel personal and relevant. When you talk to “everyone,” nobody’s brain lights up. But when you speak directly to one person’s needs, their brain releases a little dose of dopamine—the “hey, this is for me!” chemical.
In business, if you try to help “everyone,” you end up helping… no one. You can’t tailor your message, your offer, or even your jokes if you don’t know who’s on the other side of the table.
Think about it:
Would you use the same pick-up line on everyone? (Please say no.)
In business, your communication is your courtship. If you don’t know your audience, you’re either too formal, too casual, too technical, or too fluffy.
Here’s another brainy fact:
The decision-making part of the brain—especially in business—isn’t just logical. It’s emotional. People remember how you make them feel. When you know WHO you want to help, you know how to make them feel seen, heard, and understood.
Suddenly, you’re not just another option—they feel like you “get” them. That’s when the real connection happens.
Now, let’s get a bit “Happy Brains” nerdy:
Every decision maker’s brain is wired a little differently. If you know WHO you’re talking to, you know how to reach the right part of their brain.
Are they driven by logic? Emotion? FOMO?
If you don’t know who they are, you’re just throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks.(Hint: it usually just makes a mess.)
But when you know your ideal client, you can:
Design offers that feel tailor-made
Use stories and examples that resonate
Trigger the “yes!” response in their brain
It’s like showing up to a date with their favorite flowers, not a cactus (unless they love cacti—see, that’s the point!).
So, how do you figure out WHO you want to help? Here’s your business dating checklist:
List your favorite past clients—what do they have in common?
What are their biggest frustrations? (Business and personal!)
Where do they hang out? (LinkedIn, conferences, karaoke bars…)
What makes them light up? (Quick wins, big visions, dad jokes?)
The clearer you get, the easier it is to attract your perfect match—and get their brain to say “YES!”
So remember:
Business is a lot like dating. If you want a relationship that lasts (and pays), start by knowing exactly WHO you want to help.
Want to learn how to make your clients’ brains fall in love with you? Visit our website at happy-brains.com and let’s make your next client swoon!
